When I hear those things that trigger the emotion, the daydreams, the relaxed, drifting mind and the far-off eyes... Something has stuck a chord. It doesn't have to be anything really--it can be a scent, a sound, the lick of a blues guitar, a spoken word, or the sublime flavor of a special food. Something might stir inside me.
I'll sometimes drift far enough away from reality that I'm disappointed when I return.
It might be the most ordinary of moments--just listening to the TV in the back of my mind while I'm looking through a color newsprint circular that I found lying, forlorn, in my driveway. I might be idly staring out the window at the sky as it slowly fades from view with a splash of evening color.
I don't always know when I'm in the throes of a romance moment, and I'll bet I sometimes sit with a grin on my face as the sights, smells, and feelings wash over me.
I seldom ignore my inner voice when there is an opportunity to better the moment. I may satiate myself with a food that sounds good when I know it's not good for me, but I try not to make it a habit. I drink quite a bit, but I don't drink to be wasted--I want only a buzz. I smoke a little weed too, but I'm not running from life--I'm trying to underline it and italicize it. I don't like to lose control, but I do want to let my mind wander with a little more fluidity. Everybody has a different definition of what it means to live. While some people may consider gravity-defying adrenaline sports to be the only way to truly experience life, others my consider living to be the pursuit of feeding their mind with reading and thinking. Like Grace Slick said in the 60's anthem, White Rabbit, "feed your head." Think about things. Ponder things. Romance things.
I can't help but always notice when something sounds better than the status quo. The sudden realization that something might be an improvement sets my mind reeling with anticipation. When I first had the notion to buy an electric blanket, the romance I had for the idea was food for thought. I kept thinking of how nice and cozy it would be if I had one. That romance was exceeded only by the feeling I actually had when I eventually slid my bare skin beneath it on a chilly evening. Things that are so simple, and yet--present such a delicious leap in sensory input! I relish them.
I watch a movie that I've seen before and I find myself overcome with emotion at certain scenes. Why? Because my mind played the scene over in my mind before it unfolded, that's why. I knew it was coming. Having seen the movie before, my mind romanced my favorite scenes. It amplified them. It had my emotions on the "edge of their seat" with anticipation.
I see a vacation destination, a superhero, a picture of a man on a motorcycle--it doesn't matter--my wandering mind might sail off in the direction of a daydream.
Sometimes I do live the dream, but more often than not I only romance it. Does that frustrate me? No. I find myself saying, "thank you for that moment" when I have a good mental recess--thanking it for the brief reprieve from reality. Thanking it for letting me relax my thoughts and let my stress taper off. A deep sigh of appreciation, a glint of faraway eyes, and a faint smile.
The smile of romance.
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